As a girl born and brought up in India, I have always been told what to do, how to do, what to wear, what not to wear, what to say and especially what not to say. The list of nots' is quite long, literally long. I know I am abused, my parents know I am abused but instead of giving that strength and confidence to go fight it; I was taught to be quite about it.
During my years in Lucknow, I remember going for night walks with my mom and the one thing she ensured was that I was dressed properly and the gold chain I wear wasn't visible. She did not want trouble. That's one thing that seemed to have stuck with me for years. Do I as a girl/woman call for trouble? I really do not remember singing, " Trouble! Trouble! Come knock on my door." However it was assumed to be my responsibility to make sure that I stay out of trouble. No boy should leer and no boy should follow me. On the other hand when I see parents talking to their son; its a completely different story. All they want is that their dear son should come home to them and they should then be able to feed him their love filled hand cooked meal. What he does outside the four walls is not their concern till the concern comes to bother them!
Every time a man ogles at a woman's body, a parent & his village of near and dear ones fails.
Every time a man nudges a woman; a parent & his village of near and dear ones fails.
Every time a man makes a lecherous remark at a woman; a parent & his village of near and dear ones fails.
Every time a man forces himself on a woman (be it his wife); a parent & his village of near and dear ones fails.
We might call ourselves the great Indian/Aryan race but we are no where near it. As of now we are only a sad bunch of losers who take pride in the superficial achievements of our children. As individuals who value and respect each other we score a high zero.
I am no parent to tell what is the right way to bring up children but as an individual I do know that I would want my future generation to see two people with the same frame. No differentiation of boy, girl, rich, poor, intellectual, fool etc. Each one and everyone deserves respect and a right to be treated equally. I can have my judgments, opinions and pre-dispositions but I should not see a person's gender, class or caste as a parameter to exploit them or treat them shabbily. She deserves love and respect. So does he. Lets live and let live.
I am no parent to tell what is the right way to bring up children but as an individual I do know that I would want my future generation to see two people with the same frame. No differentiation of boy, girl, rich, poor, intellectual, fool etc. Each one and everyone deserves respect and a right to be treated equally. I can have my judgments, opinions and pre-dispositions but I should not see a person's gender, class or caste as a parameter to exploit them or treat them shabbily. She deserves love and respect. So does he. Lets live and let live.
P.S.: This is from the time I was growing up, today I am bold and educated enough to raise my voice and I thank my parents for giving that education that 'liberates' me from giving into cliches.
