To my firstborn-my nephew

You lie there, oblivious to everything.
I lie here, smiling, crying, at the happiness that is to come.

There is warmth all around.
Remember this warmth all your life.
It is from the one 'person' who loves you unconditionally till her last breath.

I have known this 'person' all my life.
She helped me walk through it when I wobbled.
She lunged my confidence when the world put me down.
She cried when I cried.
She fed me when I had the whims for being fed by someone else.

When I was upset, she would pick the scooter and take me to the ice cream parlor.
She would hear me rant while i gorged on my sundae.
(No wonder, nothing beats sundaes as #1 my comfort food :P)
In those and many such other moments she rose from being my elder sister to being my friend.
(In fact she never liked me calling her didi, we were friends she would say.)

She is for me, an epitome of pure love. No malice, no cheats.
All my spoils have come from her. My first Ipod, my first branded wrist watch, my ray-bans, and much more.

She held me tight when we lost our elder sister.
I still remember that grip affirming to me she was there for me.
She still is holding it tight.

So always, always love her, respect her.
She will be your friend, guide and is your mother.

Much love munchkin,
Masi
22.06.2016

(P.S.: This is only the first of many more letter to come your way. Masi will smother you with louve. )

Those last few miles

The path in front of me is turning rusty and rough.

There are coarse stones under my feet.

My sole is gashed, so is my soul.

Bleeding, I walk ahead for the path leads me to my destination.

Mustering all the strength in me, I walk.

I am out of my stash of water.. food..strength..

I try to find him..to lean on him.

I see him struggle himself.

I steer into silence.

Placing faith in us, I keep walking.

Hoping the destination meets us before we fall over and the end reaches us.

Year of writing: 2016

The children know, so listen-in!

'The kids are not alright', is one of the episodes of the podcast series titled 'My Indian Life', a BBC Media initiative and hosted by Kalki Koechlin. All the previous five episodes have been intriguing and interesting too. This, however, touched a cord. It talks about child abuse, a paramount problem and makes for a poignant listen.

Well, while and after listening to it, my thoughts have just been going back and forth on whether to say it or not. More so acknowledge it to myself and shout out loud just so my soul would hear it. 
I was molested when I was young. Well, as is many a times, it was the friendly neighbor. I found my ways to avoid and ensure that it never occurs again. That's the small of it.

The reason I feel I need to speak out is put just two things out there:

To parents: Keep your arms, ears and eyes wide wide open. However your child, risque, rash or wayward, he or she, do not sideline your children's words when they speak of anything close to describing abuse. A child hardly understands good and bad, so unless you check out their claim, just don't disregard it. 

Second, it is happening to children, boys and girls. We, as a society make it even harder on boys to share and talk about abuse. Label it as a weakness. In fact, data shows that many men abused in their childhood become delinquents and abusers themselves. Abuse doesn't come with a gender tag. 

The path is very long but at the very least let's acknowledge, accept and report it. Only then can we pave way for victims to recover and find themselves, their voices, their strength. 

P.S.: Written originally in September of 2018.

Musings from 2025

As I sit here, on the first 'working' Monday of 2026, I can't but pause and think of what really 2025 taught me. 

Pause and Take it in! All the 21st century advancements have made our lives easy, sure, but it's given not just the means but also become a need, a compulsion for being fast-paced all day, every day. It has poured over to our relationships, our friends, our fam. Our multi-tasking, our scrolling, nothing stops. Everything is a list, everything a to-do.

 

Oh, the joy to be present in one place, see your child play, see your parents crack a joke and smile or sneer and get angry, to hear the sizzle of the hot pan as you cook your favourite dish, to finally crack that backhand and much more. As a professional too, to hear what people and communities are saying, hear the unsaid, observe and take in their experiences and let their world fill you. Just look up, life is in the moment, here and now. I hope to continue this is 2026.

Saviour complex and Need for Solution! (this is more a development sector reflection & perspective) My 9-year-old nephew and his friends have this compulsive habit, anytime I tell them something, they retort back a vociferous 'I know'! They want to feel more and more like an adult, it's cute habit. But not when adults do it. We know that we don't have answers to everything. All of our lived experiences are uniquely different, yet we like to give 'gyan' and suggest off the bat 'solutions'. Sometimes it's ok to sit with problems, let them consume you. May be then we can truly understand the nuances and appreciate the complexity of problem at hand. 

Everyone works! Most people work hard, even the smart workers are hard workers. Just because you talk intellectual, work on a computer, work in a new-age firm, etc. doesn't make your effort more valuable or make you a better or more respect worthy person. 

Everyone's work deserves respect. Your cook, your cleaner, your boss, your home-maker mother, your security guard, EVERYONE. You can ask them to be/do better but in that process don't take away or chip at their dignity.

Save More, Invest More! This economy and uncertain times are going nowhere. Plan your investments and start/build on those SIPs. Don't let that money rot in a savings account. More so to the women out there, always have your money, save and build that embankment of yours. 

Here's hoping I work more, grow more and 'give and get' more love in 2026!