The little vermilion girl

"I heard of this 'didi' from town in the village today and so I came running to the Health Centre. 

I am 12 years old.

I study in class 6.

My best friend is Munni.

I am married."

The last line comes out in a murmur and I have to stress my ears. 'She' is dressed in a salwar kurta and has sindoor running down her head parting. 'She' does not realize what has happened except that she now wears 'chudi' (bangles) and 'sindoor' everyday and has a new friend who stays in another village. This friend whom everyone else refers to as her husband. 'She' says he works in field and doesn't go to field. As of now they stay apart and meet only once in a while she gets to go meet the new friend. 'She' has visited his house only once before; after the marriage (which she describes as" when there was a big function and dinner at her house").

I did not have words to describe my feelings then and neither do I have words now. According to the UNICEF Multiple Indicator Cluster Surveys (MICS) 2013 47% of girls in India are married off before the age of 18. That number in itself is astounding and saddening. Why do we claim we are the big developing nation? Why do we worship goddesses? Why do we touch call nature, nature mother? Why do I call myself empowered?Why?

I am an educated and independent girl and yet I could do nothing to save her from the oncoming physical abuse and mental trauma. In my mind I didn't even know what my complaining about this child marriage would do. Would she be taken away from her parents? Would her and the groom's parents be jailed? Will she be sent to an even worse place by the system? This NGO that I went for does right awareness programs to help understand the wrong side of early child marriage for boys and girls. In my mind, bringing about a behavioral change like that would require much more than an awareness campaign and even more amount of time. Our society has nurtured early marriage for decades and now suddenly an outside bred NGO or a human rights worker cannot make them see the wrong side of their right traditions. But its not all bad, there is the other side too which is now seeing that educating their girl may be the smartest decision of their lives.( The positive side shall come in the next story)

She is happy to have found a new friend. A friend who may someday turn into the one abusive alcoholic and an addict husband. But for now the picture she has in her mind is colorful and I hope that they only turn prettier for her by the day.

P.S. : This is just a reflection on my experience in the field. For all purposes I am still as inexperienced as yesterday.